Tomorrow

NOTES: This silly/miserable poem is both tongue-in-cheek and rather depressing. It's been described before as the Procrastinator's Creed, and incidentally takes a slice of my life from senior year, including time-appropriate references, like TV and radio stations that have since changed (channel 43 was the on-cable program guide and 89.9 used to be WRVG Georgetown Public Radio, a mixed bag of NPR and every kind of music and program under the sun), a truck that left to become a car, and a girl who has since committed suicide (R.I.P. Jessica). While this poem is probably no good, it is still... interesting. Names have not been changed, read at your own risk.

SPLAT! I don’t know where I’m at, But I’ve got think quickly                   eek! To dodge that Dodge that’s coming at me             whew! But I turn this corner and the guy is chasing me And I run and run and run and run and jog and jog and…        huh huh huh And… ::huhhuh:: I’m out of breath, but so is he, Get away, get away, gotta run another little way until I get in my truck, its an oven but I’m lovin’ it cause It seems to make sense when I’m in it. I got lost because I loved my truck too much and let it do the thinking, wait, I’m Sinking ack I’m sinking sinking sinking and the water that I’m drinking is polluted with all the toxins of the mind and Thus I find the right road home But where is Home? It seems That I have strayed too long from home, and forgotten where it was. Why? Well, eh, just because… And it wasn’t bad, just unthoughtful, not evil, just uncourteous, Not villainous but rude, completely free and beautiful, if recklessly careless and ungrateful. But I didn’t intend it that way, Things just seemed to be like that today And yesterday And the day before that Stretching out until I forgot when it wasn’t like that Sometimes I try to remember But it all just fades to the past Make one day reach another Try to catch the good times, and make them last But they flit by Before I’ve had the time to sigh, They say goodbye And only just perhaps when they leave do I cry Too late, and too little, for the great things that they’ve done Even under my scorching sun, I couldn’t see them And all that they did, I hid my face from what was true I looked too hard to look for you When all I had to do was get it together Tough it out in stormy weather That I might appreciate the sunsets and rainbows of life more Instead I saw each day for gray, and I’ve lived my life that way For far too long I couldn’t see the faces in the clouds for the rain they seemed to boast, I never loved the sun for warmth and beauty, I cursed it for its blinding heat When all I dreamed of sometimes was what I had not when I had That which should have made me glad To have anything at all in this place where fates deal harshness and sorrow But all I did was wish for a better tomorrow And pray to God that I made it through another day okay That there will still be another way to go tomorrow, yes, Tomorrow I will rise and grind the sand out of my eyes, I will do what must be done, and then I will have earned my fun And enjoy it better for doing so The intentions were definitely so Tomorrow I’ll sow the seeds to grow Tomorrow I’ll live the way I know Is right, I won’t be sad and low The darkened places will have to go When tomorrow comes, cause tomorrow Is the day I’ll go Even though… I said that yesterday And the day before that Stretching out until I can’t remember when I did tomorrow What I intended today It always seems to be that way I shouldn’t let my thoughts run out and play When there are things to do today But I sit and fiddle the time away Thinking of improbable dreams which also won’t happen If I don’t do what needs doing today But I can do it tomorrow and then still eat my cake too, right? Well, I’ll do it tomorrow after I eat my cake, and its still justified, Eh? That’s not the right way? Well I’m sorry, I have better things to do today, Like watching channel 43, Holding the remote to the t.v. Eating cheese puffs, playing guitar, Driving my truck and not a car, Taking Sarah here or there, God knows I’d drive her anywhere, And Anthony, who pretends not to care If he catches me playing with her hair Walking to Jessica Whispman’s house, Wondering if we have a mouse, Listening to 89.9, Pondering if dating Kat is fine, Thinking about the movie Shrek, Hoping I don’t get in a wreck Fighting my way through Baldur’s Gate, Fill a few thank-yous with “appreciate” Fiddle at this form, fiddle at that, Go chase off the neighbor’s cat, look Four clovers on Sarah’s lawn Pace my floor from dusk till dawn Curing up nothing, receiving no rest, Except for the morning breakfast was blest, The days seem dark and the nights are too Call up her or be called by you Wait, who is it that I’m talking to? I’m not sure, but I’ll pick you up at 2. Eat in a restaurant’s parking lot Will this food cause my blood to clot? Or try O’Charlie’s, which is fine, except we have to wait in line, Discussing the condition of our feet Well, in a way perhaps that’s sweet, And then I run you home, and curve My way through not a road, but swerve, And then I have to sit and think With carbonation for to drink And yes, that’s what I did today, but tomorrow’s the plan, tomorrow’s the way, For tomorrow I won’t slack off at all, Tomorrow I’ll be on the ball, I won’t have something better to do, Except perhaps for a thing or two, I might forget what you asked of me, But I’ll be very sorry, just you see, Tomorrow is when my glory comes, Though there is no fanfare, no rumbling drums, Tomorrow I’ll get what needs getting done Before the setting of the sun I’ll have the time, I’ll motivate, I won’t slack off, I won’t be late, Responsibility only waits for Tomorrow, and I’ll mean it this time, Except I’ll sleep too late, and find The Perfect Thing to say to Sarah then But perhaps… Perhaps along the course of time, I’ve already told her everything, Already said what could be said, And could not, She’s read my mind and heart, I bet, And knows all that I could think to say, Except the dream I had that day, but no, it will not change her way. And all it would do Is push her away from me so now I see what I need now is responsibility I have lacked so long, too long, Perhaps all I can do now is great wrong To myself and others I try my best To serve the rest But I guess I’m serving me So when darkness sets in And the day wears thin I feel some terrible lack within Of something today I did not do, Something I should have told to you, A job not gotten, a thank-you not sent, A college not sending me bills for rent, A dream unaccomplished, a heart long lost, And in the end is it worth the cost of what I choose to do today? But tomorrow’s the dream, and tomorrow’s the way, Tomorrow you’ll know whom you’re talking to, Mark Burton, back from the dead, that’s who! Tomorrow I won’t have to bow my head, At least, that’s what I think I said, Before something came up with the girl that talked On the phone, and so I promptly walked To catch a dream that long since died And yet I keep it deep inside But tomorrow’s the dream, and tomorrow’s the way, Tomorrow is when I’ll have my day. Mark Burton 6/9/01 12:51 A.M.