Lucas Oakenclove

Journal Entries
Fifth Day of Spring, 283 M.H.D.

The care and feelings I receive when in the presence of the fair, and enchanting beauty, Llaurana are nothing sort of sincere, but a welling sense of self doubt blossoms into a cemented foundation within the back of my mind. I wonder if this love is truly genuine and not a desperate attempt for any short of companionship that has been readily available to me for the first time in my short life span. However, I do not recall much before the time I spent with Dellidrum, my master and mentor, for my adopted father he had come to be. I knew I was young then, but I still remember feeling an older sense of dread and xenophobia that could have only been developed by years of loneliness. These emotions are not attached to memories other than the ones I remember after Dellidrum passed, though I have certain episodes of depression, invoking thoughts of worthlessness and dread that often cloud my mind. I wonder sometimes if these feelings are a clue to my true origins, perhaps my creator, whether my life force was birthed from magic or nature, abandoned me. I have heard of children not being able to remember their toddler years, in which case it is entirely possible I spent the first few years of my childhood wandering alone in some forsaken wilderness. Such incidents are not uncommon among beasts of the animal kingdom, as some creatures leave their young to fend for themselves. But, that answer to me is far too simple. I am a intelligent being, capable of rational thought and sometimes even sparks of genius. How then could I justify such a theory? If I indeed compare myself to a lowly animal incapable of conscious action then what excuse have I for doubting such an answer? So many questions, and very little answers, and sometimes I wonder if I was ever meant to know. Even worse however, I wonder if I was ever meant to be. To me, there is no greater despair one can feel then being faced with the possibly that they have no purpose. Feelings of being meaningless, a mistake I sometimes call myself. I believe I am a creation wrought of magic, the mad crafting of a diabolical wizard who has defiled the order of all things. An abomination...

I have only experienced love once in my lifetime, and that was the father and son bond I shared with Dellidrum Oakenclad, and when he passed away, the feelings of loneliness of a time forgotten began to resurface. I traveled for four years on the paths of the world, with only sheer determination pushing one foot in front of the other. So many times I wished I could just fall to my knees and cry out in agony. So many questions left unanswered, as if my existence was not sewn into the tapestry of fate. How I sometimes pointed an excusing finger at Dellidrum, blaming him for my deep sorrow, because I felt I had no place in the world. I lived beyond the realm of reality in those fours years, building a barrier that separated me from the outside world. I paid no heed to others on my travels, and only dealt with individuals when the need arose, but secretly I desired interaction with others. Even as something as simple as a conversation, I just wanted a friend. Most adventurers on the path of wandering to find their place in the grand scheme of things, sometimes over look the simple fulfillment of having a companion. Consumed by anguish, I ignored such trepidations, and never gave them a second thought. So why now, after four years of almost vowed solace, have I finally desired to reach out to others? I see my selfless act of saving Harn and his father, as of no simple coincidence, but they still pale in comparison to when I first gazed upon the fairest and most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. Llaurana possessed a timeless beauty and wisdom that I could only barely fathom. I stood in awe before this lovely woman, the embodiment of perfection in my eyes. One glance, and if only for one second, my troubles and fears all seemed to vanish.

Unfortunately, then arose another sense of worry, a feeling of impossibility. How could such a creature as me, a bipedal rodent who was most assuredly incompatible to humanoids, have deep feelings of love for an Elf? I will say I am not entirely certain how it happened, though I know it has. Perhaps the quality I loved about her most was her compassion and kindness she showed, even to a bitter, pitiful creature such as me.

Fourth week, Second Day of Spring, 283 M.H.D.

It has been sometime since I have written in this journal, for certain matters have dictated my attention, but for the time being I shall try to bring my writings up to date with the present events in my life.

My companions and I have traveled far to reach the Order of the Sacred Silence, and we have succeeded in our quest by finally reaching that destination. On the surface I seek for a way to procure and destroy the artifact, Sarnen’s Bane, a powerfully enchanted, but powerfully cursed sword created by Welthik Camberson, reputedly history’s most powerful wizard, if not the most popular one, at least in Eldorin texts. Underneath however, I truly seek to be rid of my accursed form at last.

After a brief, but interesting conversation with the Yuan-Ti doorman, and his Medusa betrothed, we received a Gnome escort. Apparently, he is a brilliant and gifted alchemist like me, though if you ask me, he seems a bit on the eccentric side. We were to speak with the Head librarian, a position that was once held by my former master and mentor, Dellidrum so I am told. However wide-eyed and intrigued my companions may have been at the grand splendor of this enormous library, it seemed that I was the most notable point of intrigue by those who resided here. Being the source of so much discussion and questioning was becoming rather tiresome, as I am not used to being the center of attention. Such a thing is reserved for prideful fools, though prideful I may be, I am certainly no fool.

We tarried for sometime as our escort gave us a quick tour of the establishment. Truth be told, I had never before seen so many tomes and records in all my life, and my hunger for knowledge began to grumble for sustenance. I could spend several lifetimes just delving over the contents of the countless tomes and books that literally spilled over the edges of each vast bookcase. Though one important detail I should mention is the quality of their alchemy laboratory. After I finish this entry, I shall have to try and locate some Felchin moss, the final and most vital ingredient for my incantation.

We arrived at last to the grand double doorway of the head librarian’s chambers, which contained elaborate decorations and gold inlaid carvings, no doubt a well-preserved relic left over from the days of the Gaasian civilization. Once inside, we approached a large throne type pedestal, though particularly modest in my opinion. I stood in the presence of one of the strangest, though most wonderful, creatures I’ve ever laid eyes on. He was basked in a ray of shining light, with pale, though gold tinted, skin. He had large dark eyes with a face that had slightly bird-like features, with six humanoid arms protruding from a scrawny torso, that were busily moving about through tomes and pieces of parchment. When we came into his view, all his limbs immediately ceased action, and turned in our direction. He spoke telepathically, and introduced himself as Sage Erumeck, and bid us welcome to his Order. He seemed very kind, perhaps too kind if you ask me, but I will not trouble myself or my companions which such thoughts.

After a long introduction, we settled into our guest quarters and were free to move around and explore the library. Most decided to give themselves more thorough personal tour, while the others went to the cafeteria to gorge themselves. I, on the other hand, immediately retraced our steps back to the Head Librarian’s, whom I will refer too as the “Sage” from now on, chambers in order to speak to him on more personal matters. I greatly anticipated what the answers to my questions would be, and maybe he could shine a light on my mysterious origins. Besides, perhaps my efforts would prove to be more fruitful if I just went ahead and directed all of my pending questions to a great mind, as opposed to spending hours in the library trying to find an answer.

I began by asking extensive questions about the order and about Sarnen’s Bane, which I will summarize in the following sentences. Regrettably, no means of destroying the potent artifact or instructions to do so existed in the library, however he revealed to me a what the first leg of my journey could be. It appears that the means to the artifacts destruction are most likely residing in the last known residence of it’s creator, Welthik Camberson, unfortunately that location is the Endless Marsh. “Killing two birds with one stone” was the saying that came to mind, as the only region I could obtained Felchin moss would be in the Endless Marsh, but that is not a trip I look forward to undertaking.

The most important details I learned from the Sage were those referring to my origins. Feldanir Ostrith, a very powerful and infamous mage of Tragwin, apparently had started, oh some twenty or thirty years ago, defying the laws of nature and balance. He created unusual beings by using powerful transmutation magic from his own power and a potent relic, one of the Nine Omens of Tragwin. When he first started creating these beings, he would use preexisting creatures or humanoids and would warp them into terrible mockeries of their former selves. I, as Sage Erumeck told me, was one of his first. Thankfully, I had another form, my “True Form” he called it, even though my current form was a result of corrupting magic. Within the confines of a previous Mage School, I had been twisted into a bipedal squirrel. Though Feldanir may not have had such evil intentions, this magic carried with it a terrible curse. A creature created by his magic, like me, would become a miserable wretch, in some way or another. For me, my misery was being an outcast, an abomination, loneliness.

Well, it has been a long day and I must find rest soon as there is a great deal I must accomplish before the next sun rise, so I shall end this entry for now.

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